Morgan and Mornin'...Fork The People

Erica and I have been hosting this morning show for 16 years, so we've seen a lot of strange things happen here. Today we'll add comedian Tracy Morgan to the list.

It's not false hype when I say that we have the best vending machines in radio. We always get compliments from our guests about our coffee maker which brews a variety of different exotic blends. And recently we've added a beauty to our stable of vending machines that features entrees and other delicacies from around the preservative planet. We've always had the Pop-Tarts, Snackwells, gum and chips, but this new dream machine will deliver all the food pyramid groups to get us through the next hurricane crisis when we're in lockdown status.

Tracy slithered in this morning a little tired as many of our comedians are when they're booked at 7am. But once he found out about the mechanical buffet that awaited him, the endorphins kicked in. We're excited about the machines, so we were doubly thrilled when Tracy the TV star was jazzed about them.

Then he joined us on the air.

Tracy was so married to his purchase of Chef Boy-R-Dee ravioli that he couldn't help himself. He ate it during the entire segment. He would stop to hear our questions, then fill his mouth before he answered. Even though he was 10 feet away from me, he was ingesting 1 inch from his microphone. Because I was wearing headphones, I couldn't get away from the sound of his saliva-filled slurping. How he was able to make that single serving slop last for the whole 10 minute interview I'll never know.

So Tracy Morgan, welcome to the Weird Interview Hall Of Fame. You join, among others, D.L. Hugley who felt compelled to do our phone interview while running on a treadmill; surfer/shark victim Bethany Hamilton, who insisted on listening to her iPod instead of us, forcing me to ask questions and then answer them for her because she wasn't paying any attention; Gilbert Gottfried, whom we physically picked up and removed from the studio, only to have him break back in; and Richard Simmons who licked Erica's palm while she was reading the news on the air.

Tracy's in town this weekend to perform his stand up at The Improv. They have great burgers, so he should be at the top of his game.